While all manner of important issues fall by the wayside, those we have elected (correction, those you have elected because LAD don't do voting) churn over the same irrelevant issues and offer up the odd piece of legislation (excluding the raft of legislation pushed through prior to the 2011 election, the average is 9 bills per year since 2007).  Bad enough that MLAs are incapable of showing leadership, even worse when they have to request foreign help and still can't get it together. 

However this is nothing new; the Haass talks haven't highlighted a sudden and unexpected increase in political absurdity.  This has been going on since the current crop, or most of them, were elected in 2007.  Despite the opportunity for the electorate to make changes in 2011, most of the existing MLAs were given a new mandate and now the next chance to make a change could be as late as 2016.

Meanwhile we're stuck with what Brian Feeney rightly called the "semi-literate, ungrammatical, often incoherent" crop that believe they act in the best interests of Narn Iran.  We would go further and say that with the odd exception, most MLAs are out of touch, out of their depth, unaccountable and incapable of operating at the level required for a legislature.  Yet they're still elected by an ever decreasing number of engaged voters while those who complain, don't bother to go out and vote when there is the opportunity to address their complaints.

Should you ever have been bored to tears by accidentally watching the proceedings of Westminster on TV, and if you are minded to argue contrary to the above, you should sit yourself down in front of your PC (that's personal computer, not Pradisan Coalition or Parades Commission) on an Assembly sitting day and treat yourself to a festival of asinine debate, where any subject, no matter how irrelevant, may carry mention of flegs and more likely, whataboutery.  This is not the sole domain of the 'main' parties, all are guilty of playing their role in the charade.  Meanwhile, the Executive the Assembly is meant to scrutinise, squanders vast pots of loot gifted them by the UK government and why shouldn't they?  It keeps on coming.

Some of you may be surprised to hear that there is an Executive and Assembly at 'Stormont'.  This is possibly because our political journalists (most of whom appear unreasonably deferential towards our esteemed MLAs) believe the general public is too stupid to require such knowledge and "Stormont" makes a suitable all-encompassing term.  Stormont doesn't make any decisions, nor does Stormont spend money.  Stormont doesn't close hospital A&E departments and Stormont doesn't ban gay men donating blood.  Most of this is done by the Executive, or our government if you want to be really complimentary, and this work, when and if it happens, is scrutinised by the Assembly.

As anti-democrats, those who don't vote backed by the solid reasoning of "it doesn't make any difference" are our biggest friends.  The more of you who think that, the more powerful LAD will become.  It's similar to that scene in Star Wars where Darth Vader strikes down Obi Wan Kenobi but if you imagine democracy is Darth Vader.  Or something like that maybe.

Those who do vote, perpetuate the tribal division maintained by those who seek to remain elected.  Furthermore, secret agents of extremism, like Mad Wullie Frazer (okay, he's just away with the faries) and Jimmy Bryson, get to hold some unholy dominion over certain MLAs.  No, we can't work it out either but at least it gives everyone something to moan about.

We hear a lot of this silent majority/silent middle class or whatever you wish to call it.

These are the ones with the real power in Norn Irn, but they have become so overcome by apathy, they have forgotten how to wield this power.  It's like yer man Hancock, all pissed up on the drink yet capable of all manner of great deeds (another gratuitous film comparison).  As long as this majority can be kept 'intoxicated', then we can continue to expect politicians who will pander to the vocal and extreme minority.

While the DUP and Sinn Féin continue to share power at the Executive table, is there much chance of any change?  The extremists will still be the ones calling the shots, certainly as far as the DUP are concerned, and the other parties will continue to feed on the crumbs but there is no reason why this should be the status quo.

Many of our MLAs are from the era of the Troubles or before and some of those would give the impression that they are still firmly rooted in that past.  LAD would hate to see the silent majority grow a set of balls (or female equivalent, does clitoris sound right?  Probably not) and start voting because to do so would ruin the mediocrity we all enjoy.  We might see wholesale change at the top and in turn, wholesale change for us all.  Far better that a moronic minority are the ones that dictate, via their elected representatives, how all of us in Norn Irn should be forced to live.


Voting is for idiots.