Before the LAD bunker had even warmed up this morning, a call came through on the Twatphone (strange, as it's only the Chief of Police who has that number) from none other than top local hunger striker, failed rally driver and messenger of God, Jamie Bryson.
He was talking that way five year olds do when they're trying to tell you everything they did on holiday, in no more than 5 minutes, you know, all excited and can't quite coordinate their breathing with getting the words out, which made it quite difficult to understand what he was trying to say. Eventually, after the offer of a bag of jelly babies and a kids meal from MacBurgers, he slowed down and the story unravelled.
It would seem Jamie has been working in conjunction with a secretive republican cover group, known as Faisean Nuacht (FN). While FN has been sending members deep cover in front line and civilian roles within the PSNI, Bryson has led a social media campaign to shame Chief of Police, Mark Bartlett, into giving up on trying to convert the proud upstanding men and weemin of Loyalist Ulster, into kind and neighbourly liberals.
Although Barratt has managed to resist this double pronged attack, the revelation that finally broke him is Bryson's discovery of a secret plan involving the PSNI, An Garda Síochána, dissident publicans and the Irish government. In a recent blog, Bryson has exposed the PSNI as being a publican organisation, infiltrated to the highest level by the FN and EMI. This is the first stage in a publican cue, with the backing of the Irish government, to overthrow the Loyal and Pradistan people of Ulster and impose a publican Roaming Cathlic state on us.
|Pradistan Unionist Loyalist People|
Yes, good Loyalists, heed what Bryson says. He has all the proof right there inside his head and he can prove it. Given the overwhelming evidence, is it any wonder Baggott doesn't want to work in this land of crazies anymore?
LAD would ask that everyone thank Jamie for ridding us of the oppressor of the PULP. Now we can rely on the PSNI only removing publicans and GARCs from the road and letting us march as we used to.