Protestant Coalition Airport Protest Planned
Several months ago a cab driver contacted LAD to give us a heads up about an ongoing situation involving the contract to run taxis from Belfast City Airport. He told us that Catholic cab drivers were being subjected to intimidation from fellow Protestant taxi drivers, and that as a result most of those Catholic drivers had already left the airport taxi company. We didn't realise that this was just the tip of the iceberg.

Thanks to the continual shut-downs of our Facebook page, LAD lost contact with the taxi driver, but he contacted us again this week following the so-called Protestant Coalition’s announcement of a protest at City Airport tomorrow (25/10/2013) to complain about a perceived anti-Protestant agenda behind the recent transfer of the airport taxi contract from the current firm to Value Cabs. Many of the Catholic drivers who were forced out of their airport taxi jobs have since found alternative work and want to put the whole episode behind them. Our source was of the same opinion until the so-called Protestant Coalition started sabre-rattling.
Protestant Coalition - more sectarian bullshit
 We do not profess to know the absolute truth on this issue but given the Protestant Coalition's history of sectarian shit stirring we thought it only fair to provide the other 'side' of the story as told by one of those involved.

We've been told that until April 2012, the Belfast City Airport taxi rank was run as a not-for-profit co-operative into which every driver paid £3000 to join, a further £500 (which was then returned) to help get the co-operative started, and then between £70 and £90 a week membership. The co-operative worked well at the start, having one Protestant and one catholic driver serving as chief operators. Then the Catholic operator became ill and left his position, leaving a vacancy which was filled, not by a Catholic, but by five Protestant drivers.

When the Catholic drivers complained and asked for representation they were told "This is East Belfast, just count yourself lucky you're allowed to work here at all".

In April 2012 two men, Michael Irvine and John Busby applied to Companies House to become directors of the enterprise, and convert it from a co-operative into a company. The first many of the drivers heard of this was almost a year later, in February 2013, and when questions were asked several explanations were given for the sudden change. One explanation was that this move was to protect the co-operative from litigation, another was to prevent cliques forming in the rank, while a third was to avoid liability in the event of a VAT shortfall.

According to our source since then life on the taxi rank at George Best Belfast City Airport has been rife with loyalist initiated sectarian intimidation.

There were Protestant drivers who stood up to the bigots but in many cases the Catholic drivers had to endure vandalism, late night phone calls, and sectarian graffiti. 6 Catholic drivers left, a further 3 were sacked (but reinstated after successful wrongful dismissal hearings).

Understandably fed up management at Belfast City Airport gave all drivers one months notice (as per the terms of the contract) on 24/9/13, Michael Irvine and Busby removed ten catholic drivers from their list of taxi operators. These ten went to different taxi companies in the Short Strand and the Ormeau Road and were put on those company's licences. The airport let the drivers work under these licences, but Irvine said it was a breach of contract and informed his solicitor. At 7pm on Friday 4/10/13 these drivers were told that their airport passes would be revoked at midnight.

On Friday 11th October 2013, the Catholic drivers were put out of the airport taxi service prompting "high fives because they got all the taigs out". 

Value Cabs is a Protestant-owned business and whilst this is incidental it does make a mockery of the so-called Protestant Coalition's wild assertions that this move has been motivated by anti-Protestant sectarianism and is an attempt at 'ethnic cleansing'(!!!).
Protestant Coalition - their 'side' of the story
A gathering of loyalist 'peaceful protesters' has been herded together for a protest at Belfast City Airport tomorrow (Friday October 24th 2013) to protest at this alleged mistreatment of the Belfast City Airport Taxi Company.

If LAD were a more cynical bunch of individuals, we'd think that perhaps the Cab bosses and the Prod Co were in cahoots, and were using their own people as a "flying column of protesters" available to the highest bidder to turn up and pressurise already hard-hit companies into business deals beneficial to leading fleggers.

It seems that racketeering hasn't gone away, it's just subtly changed. The threat of violence has been replaced with the threat of 20 morons dragging down your business

NOTE: The driver who contacted us has supplied us with detailed diaries, photographs and recordings of meetings that took place and intimidation endured. If any legitimate journalists would like to follow up on this story please contact us and we will put you in touch with the driver in question.


The following exchange and use of avatars when we posted this story on our Facebook page perfectly explains why the management of Belfast City Airport were smart to ditch this whole sectarian shower of shite.




LAD is an equal opportunities satirist. LAD doesn't discriminate on the grounds of religion or politics. LAD's only mission is to shine a light on sectarianism, bigotry and hatred - whether it be from a loyalist, republican or a scientologist. It's just unfortunate that loyalists have so very much missed the point of being British - of being open, plural, tolerant, transformative, non-sectarian - and of creating a nice country to live in, that LAD can't help appear one-sided. 


LAD doesn't oppose sectarianism for the fun of it, though it may seem so on the surface. Look deeper, LAD opposes sectarianism - from the executive to the street - because sectarianism is what is retarding and stultifying Northern Ireland. LAD sees non-violent parody as a powerful means of giving civic opposition. And it just so happens that loyalism is at present easier to parody. But let it be clear: LAD always has and will continue to parody sectarianism, whether the source is loyalist, republican or politician.

LAD is a cross-community group that wants to speak for the silent majority which has moved beyond the disease of sectarianism and hard-line nationalism (or either hue). LAD opposes sectarianism and wants a Northern Ireland that is shared. LAD wants a Northern Ireland where the executive functions and where ministers care about jobs, education, the economy and healthcare; a Northern Ireland where the economic policy is not about weaseling ever more money out of Whitehall; a Northern Ireland where young people have opportunities and a future. Above all, LAD wants a Northern Ireland that has a first-person plural - a "we", not a "themmuns”. Because a non-sectarian identity is a precondition to a shared cause and unity of purpose - sectarian politics doesn't create smart economies or a stable society.

LAD wants a non-sectarian Northern Ireland, where politicians provide post-conflict leadership and where people get beyond the mental categories of the Troubles. However, nothing is being done. Politicians are happy to maintain a sectarian stalemate, entertain the most extreme and ignore those who have moved on. 

Some Stormont politicians, a small minority of very loud loyalists and sinister republicans are working to impose a way of life that is both offensive and incongruent to a huge number of people in Northern Ireland. 

LAD is not amused. Nor is much of Northern Ireland. LAD wants positive and transformative leadership, not managed sectarianism or the pandering, indulgence and entertainment of the most sectarian fringe elements of loyalism and republicanism. You cannot be indifferent about fanaticism. It must be opposed and vanquished. 

We do not claim to be agents of change. LAD will continue to give a cathartic voice of opposition for those who have had enough of being menaced and terrified by street-fighting radicals and of being governed by the most ineffectual, know-nothing politicians. 

No surrender to sectarianism 

WE are the people
Unbelievably, the staffers at LAD stopped drinking for long enough to suffer an alarming moment of collective clarity.  The most disturbing result of this was an unwelcome sense of awareness which suggested sobriety was not to be embraced and after much heated debate, the Skol was flowing once again.

Quality peeve as endorsed by LAD
During this time of abstinence however, some things were written down which could almost be deemed to have origins in coherent thought.  The general theme of this material had a tone of discontent.  Mostly along the lines of what is wrong with Narnarn politics?

We constantly hear Arnold Foster harping on about what a great place Narnarn is to invest in and how golf courses and the Titanic legacy will drive our economy from strength to strength.  Okay, perhaps that's a bit flippant but beyond being photographed holding things, you could be forgiven for thinking that is at times, Arnold's economic strategy.  Similarly, the First Minister (FM) and deputy First Minister (dFM) fly around the world telling everyone how great things are in this little place of ours and that Narnarn is the place to be; we have the skills, the infrastructure, the technology.  Yes, we have it all,  except a working government and politicians who are genuinely interested in moving forward.

Golf will save us all!
Our politicians are charged with dragging us into the future but we are all suffering at the hands of an Executive that is inept and barely, if at all, fit for purpose.  Even the FM and dFM can't agree if the Executive is working or not, but the proof is surely there for all to see, with a near total lack of Executive business being debated (a generous term) within the Assembly.  The majority of the electorate seem more keen to move on than those we have elected.
Whatabouterye big mawn?
For any political novices out there, our devolved government is the Executive, the work of which is scrutinised by the legislature, in our case the Assembly (you may be forgiven for being unaware of such, given that the media generally treat the two as a single entity called Stormont).  That is what should happen but at present the Executive is suffering a case of legislative constipation which leaves the Assembly struggling to create business and on watching recent debate, you could be forgiven for thinking you have mistakenly tuned into a town council meeting.

There is much comment regarding voter apathy and perhaps some of this could be explained by looking at the demographic of our MLAs.  Over 80% of members are male, with an average age of 53.  The female contingent of just 21 MLAs has an average age of 44, which brings the overall average down to a respectable 51.  The oldest MLA is 73, the youngest just 22, which is perhaps too young in terms of life experience but nonetheless, is a positive step in attempting to gain interest of younger voters.  That's a simplistic view but as moderate voters see the majority parties pander to a small minority to the detriment of the majority, is it actually worth voting?
The Young Parlimentarians Club
Notably, the two parties with the highest average age, SDLP and UUP are the parties which have endured the biggest losses since devolution.  Perhaps that suggests the more moderate parties are suffering due to a lack of younger representatives or simply arrogance and relying on past victories?  The grey vote has been mentioned in relation to both and this is something the parties need to address if they aren't to fade into obscurity in the very near future.  They hold sway with the middle and upper classes who it seems, are giving up their democratic right.  Given the state of Narnarn politics, is it any wonder?

We're left with extremes, the hard line DUP on one hand and the socialist (far more socialist than the SDLP) Sinn Féin on the other.  Both these parties appeal to polar opposites of the electorate and probably mop up the more moderate voters who feel an 'X' for the UUP or SDLP is wasted vote, yet can still be bothered to vote.  Together, they're meant to be working in a power-sharing partnership and working towards a brighter future for all but that isn't happening.

Despite small glimmers of progress, both parties are generally backward looking, choosing to argue again and again about the past, who is to blame, who is the biggest victim, who was right, who was wrong.  It's the biggest stumbling block to progress but it is also something that cannot be ignored.  A question could be asked about how much emphasis is being placed on the past at the cost of the future, shared or otherwise?
Would the captain go down with this ship?

At the moment, the past is like a chain around our collective neck, it pervades and impedes.  As things stand, we are in no danger of progressing far until agreement is reached on the past.  While MLAs accuse the Victims' Commissioner of failing to define a victim, they seem to forget that they have been unable to agree a definition of victim for years!  Is there a different way to address the needs and legacy of victims without having what must often appear to those looking in, as a victims industry?  It sometimes seems strange that other countries look to us for help on conflict resolution when it could be said we are yet to deal with it properly ourselves.  Is the victims issue holding progress back as a whole and if it is, how could victims be better served?  Another impass at the Executive doesn't help.
Perhaps things will really start to move for Narnarn when the current crop of aging career politicians move on, hopefully to be replaced with younger ones, more closely matching the local demographic, who grew up free of the direct influence of the Troubles and, touch wood, free of the influence of those who seek to retain the status quo; young politicians who want a brighter future for their peers and for future generations and can rise above the whataboutery politics that is hobbling the current political establishment.  Would it be better if the moderate parties rose to prominence once again or is it time for something entirely new?  What is certain is something at the Executive table needs to change soon before the Stormont institutions fail us again.


When political Unionism was in-fighting and contesting the Maze peace centre, parades and flags the rest of Northern Ireland stood back in a state of non-comprehension. Yes the past is gruesome but the young people are looking forward. The in-fighters called themselves "nutters" when the reality all along is that it's political Unionism and loyalism who 'reall "nutters". Here's why.

The young people of Northern Ireland are among the ablest, brightest and best in the world. Their kind is what has made Northern Ireland what it really is, an ambitious, tolerant, cosmopolitan country.

Look at the 2013 A-level results, Northern Ireland students performed the best of the home nations. The same can be said of the GCSE students.

In Northern Ireland this summer – while jackboots and fanatics were spilling their sectarian bile on the streets and “chipping away” at our good name for the world to see – just short of 33,000 young people sat A-Level exams. That represents 59% of young adults of A-Level age in the north of Ireland, all of whom have made a conscientious, considered and calculated decision to further and better themselves.

Of these 33,000 young people over 10,000 achieved an A or A* grade. The total pass rate was 98.2%. 176,000 pupils sat GCSE exams. Of that age-group, 28% attained an A grade, 77% an A to C grade.

Class of 2013 secured a performance that is historically-typical of Northern Ireland’s young people. If we look back over the last decade, we can see that we have a huge demographic in the hundreds of thousands who are incredibly ambitious and well-educated. This is saying the obvious. But this needs to be said, and said very, very clearly.

For this is the silent, majority demographic who have elevated themselves above the maddening, tear-your-eyes-from-your-sockets tribal politics. An internationalist demographic that is indicative of the normal Northern Ireland.

With that said, we now need to ask: What are the Class of 2013 working towards?

These Young adults have invested time and effort into their future with a very clear purpose in mind. They want to cash-out on their investment. They want an end result. They want a secure and successful future.

But here’s the problem: To build a secure and stable future you need to have strong foundations. A stable, functioning government, a forward looking legislature, effective checks and balances, a strong, outward looking economy, a civil and open society, participatory democracy and a sound social contract.

Northern Ireland doesn’t have any of this. The Class of 2013 faces this inheritance of dysfunction and sectarianism, both political and economic. What we have is a lumbering Stormont legislature, a sectarian satanic mill full of “nutters”, and indulged fringe communities, outwardly racist, rogue and nationally chauvinist.

The link between the two is explicit. Political parties have exported practice and policy to power-play thugs, fanatics and dysfunctionals. Sacrificing good government and by effect, sacrificing the functional and most capable in society.

And because of this misery much of the recent A-Level optimism is misplaced. The hard reality of Stormont and community dysfunction means that, long-term, the Class of 2013 has little opportunity to cash out on their investment and make a future in Northern Ireland.

And this is the tragedy and tyranny of Northern Ireland’s barbaric, sectarian politics. Many of our 33,000 A-Levels students will now be leaving the country for mainland Britain, Europe, Australia or America, never to return – just as thousands before them have done so. Others will opt to study locally but will be forced to leave as economic migrants. Others tired from the tedium if sectarian politics will leave.

Just consider this comment left on a Guardian editorial on the Maze, made by a student of Queen’s University Belfast. This is the story despair and desperation we hear and see time, after time, after time – our best brightest leaving en masse.
“I’m a student at Queen’s [University Belfast]. When I’m finished with my degree I’m probably going to get the hell out of Northern Ireland. I’m sick of the same old sectarian bullshit arguments peddled over and over again.”

Slugger blogger David McCann spelt it out here:
"Northern Ireland greatest challenge is the loss of the best of our next generation…"
And as Stephen Nolan asked:
"Are the life opportunities of a young Catholic or Protestant not more important than whether a parade gets up a road?"
Yes it's all about economic opportunities. To save our young people it's not the flegs or the parades or the Maze - it's the economy, stupid!

As Theresa Villiers said:
"It's hard to see how Northern Ireland can reach it's full economic potential while sectarian division continues to spill out on to the streets with disgraceful scenes of rioting and violence." 
To end this haemorrhaging and cleansing of talent, young people need to face down Northern Ireland’s satanic legislative mill of managed sectarianism and the shower of conspiratorial fanatics that smash up our good name.

Who serves or speaks for the internationalist Hannah Nelson generation? We need something different. We need real economic opportunity. A system that will give an economic end-result to Northern Ireland’s best and brightest. For that to happen we must demand change to the status quo of “Newtonian” politics. As Liam Clarke said, we need a statesman or woman who can bring about a massive shift.

We need new thinking, away from the “idée fixe” of sectional politics and separatist identities. As Brian Rowan said, “we need thinkers to set us free and to save the next generation from our bitterness.” A “going to moon” idea as Eamonn Mallie put it.

But I pose it that we do have the ideas: The young people have shown how to do it. They are truly internationalist, non-contentious, non-aligned people confident in their layered, shared and overlapping identities. They’re the inheritors of the Rosa Luxemburg philosophy that looks beyond strict, set and septic nationalistic notions of identity. And this internationalism is the province-wide consensus, shared by the ambitious and outward-looking Catholic and Protestant young people.

Madness is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Our politicians are “nutters” if they think that their same old ideas can give a solution to our problem. The time has come to say that those who created this problem cannot fix it.

Alex Kane and Justine McCarthy have said it too. Only the young people can deliver a functional society because “their (Adams, Robinson et al.) personal baggage is becoming the biggest obstacle on the path to peace.”

Young people need to fight for real economic opportunity, for a shared society and for functioning government. But what happened on the streets this summer is more than just about jobs and economic opportunity, this has become a civilisation question – ‘Northern Ireland is in big trouble.’

And when civilisation meets barbarism either could win; but as Brian Rowan said, “To that question, there [can only be] one answer.”

[Written by Brian John Spencer and originally published on Eamonnmallie.com]
Anyone who follows LAD, for fair means or foul, will already know we’ve been up and down like a fiddler’s elbow over the last week.

This is the result of a new tactic being used by the likes of the Pradisan Coalition, who encourage followers to partake in what is effectively spamming Facebook’s report function, triggering the automatic removal of the LAD page for “violating community standards”.  Without human involvement, there is no option for arbitration, thus no opportunity for LAD to explain that those who are accusing us of violating the community standards are those doing the violating in the first place, given it is mostly their comments that we are copying and posting on LAD.
Is your page next?
At present, LAD is the focus of attention but the implications of this on-going action are more worrying.  Many other groups, including political parties, run Facebook pages and if all it takes to get a page removed is to spam Facebook’s report facility, perhaps other groups and Facebook themselves, should be paying some attention to the issue.  The reliance on automatic moderation gives external groups the opportunity to effectively censor content.  In the case of LAD, this is ironic given the self-proclaimed ‘civil rights’ nature of the loyalist groups involved.

LAD has received many comments on the subject, the majority being wholly supportive, while the negative comments come from those who believe we are unfairly singling out the loyalist community for ridicule, making many misguided claims as to who or what LAD is.

To clarify, LAD was born of frustration over the absurd and illegal actions of a minority who managed to ruin many a Christmas (for traders especially) due to disagreeing with a democratic decision taken to fly the Union Flag on designated days, as is the practice in most of the UK.  Despite claims that LAD is a republican page, or as one idiot claimed, a secret MI5 operation, this is definitely not the case.  The contributors to LAD cross the division of both religion and politics.
Republican fleggers.
Spot the difference? No, neither do we
As for singling out loyalists, while this may appear to be the case, the reason is simple.  From the outset, these people have been acting illegally and irrationally, with political unionism watching from the side lines and quite often joining in.  Unionist politicians have forgotten they represent more than just the minority who are prepared to bring ruin to Northern Ireland/The North/The North of Ireland (delete as applicable).  
If nationalists or republicans were behaving in a similar way to loyalists, LAD would have no reservations in highlighting this and will do so when/if it happens.

Remember loyalists smashed up the city centre? Here's a critical reflection on that event. Northern Ireland is a diverse, tolerant and cosmopolitan country. The modern generation - ambitious, well-educated, internationalist and outward looking - have made it this way. But we in Northern Ireland are not truly free. Like James Joyce said 100 years ago, history is the nightmare from which we are trying to awake.

No matter what bone fide efforts are done to better Northern Ireland, the stability and fortune of the province is forever tied to and dependent on the mood of delinquent extremists. Chinless throwbacks always ready to restart the religious wars of the 17th Century that ravaged Europe but still linger here; always ready to plunge us back into chaos; always ready to shame our name.

A jackboot lunatic class who keep the young and ambitious hostage and prisoner to a totalitarian anarchism, fuelled by no more than base ignorance and mindless idealism.

Yes, young people in Northern Ireland aren't truly free. Religiosity and violence has retarded our education system, segregated communities and minds into green and orange, and viciously retarded the economy.

To paraphrase Epictetus the Greek philosopher, only the educated and those with a good job are truly free. Many of the most capable and the most intelligent cannot get a job in Northern Ireland. I despair for them and shed even more despair for the less-capable, less well educated. For they are not truly free. Just as the young, educated middle classes in the Maghreb states, Eastern Europe and Asia are subjugated by autocratic dictators, so it is that the young, educated, middle-class in Northern Ireland are subjugated by "barbaric sectarian leaders" and the feral communities that they play-out to.


But there's an important difference here: The educated middle classes around the world are standing up and saying no. Just read Andrew Sullivan here and Francis Fukuyama here. It's happening: a global middle class uprising. It's real. Except in Northern Ireland it's not. We, the middle class in Northern Ireland, are a stoic, accepting, over-tolerant, fatalistic lot, devoid of critical faculties.

Ready to put-up and shut-up as opposed to stand-up and put-out. But this silence and inactivity can't go on: Delinquent loyalists and republicans cannot be left to shame and defame Northern Ireland. Their shame is Absolutely NOT to be done in my name.

I want to make a few points on how the moderate, ambitious, cosmopolitan classes can push back against the reactionary throwback politicians and street thugs that continually soil the good name of Northern Ireland.

My first point. People in Northern Ireland are well known and reputed for their enduring cynicism and skepticism. A particular condition to the people of Northern Ireland. We pride ourselves on our modesty, our civil tongue and reticence. But Northern Ireland young people need to rid themselves of this tired, old cloak of endless cynicism and skepticism.

This congenital tendency for cynicism is deeply tied down by the traditional Northern Ireland culture that has said "step in line, know your place". But nowadays we live in a changed world: One where opportunities and resources abound. And so we must change our minds to the new world; we must believe we can do anything, anytime and at any age. Mark Zuckerberg didn't need a degree, internship, masters, PhD or apprenticeship to create a multi-million if not billion dollar company in his bedroom.

We can't rely our educators and universities to properly prepare use for the job market for as the Harvard Business Review said, 'Our Future Workforce Is Stuck in a Pattern of Mediocrity.' Young people need to start thinking for themselves, use their initiative and realise they can achieve anything. As Thomas L. Friedman said in the New York Times: 'Need a Job? Invent It'.

We must combat and resist the status quo and the associated tragedy of cynicism; for the cynicism buttresses and reinforces the prison walls that the delinquent classes have erected for functional society in Northern Ireland. As Selwyn Duke said in the American Thinker: "What the cynic mistakes for the walls of his fortress are really the boundaries of his prison."

My second point. We need to look again at what's happening across the Muslim world and the changes bedding down in that land. In the Muslim world the traditional split has been between Sunnis and Shi'ites, a deadly warfare going back 13 centuries.

But alongside this traditional split has emerged the modern societal split: One between theocracy and modernism. Explaining what has and is happening, James Lewis said in the American Thinker:
"Modernism comes up for every Muslim who can turn on the television or surf the web. It is spreading because science and technology are spreading, and secretly, it is undermining the Dark Ages of the Muslim priesthood. People named Mohammed are being indoctrinated in ancient madrassahs against the modern world, but they are also beginning to do first-rate science, and those two belief systems are not compatible. The modern world is now invading even the most medieval minds."

The quote above applies perfectly to the backward looking people and communities of Northern Ireland. Young people all across Northern Ireland are being indoctrinated with haunting bigotry against the modern world. Watch the video below, of young children all in the single-digit age bracket spouting naked bigotry and sectarian cliches which can only have been heard from parents and older family members.

In the face of this we need to spread enlightenment ideals and help to invade and broaden their minds and horizons. We can see how well the broadening of minds has serviced the Muslim world already. It can be done here too.

My third point. We need to study and emulate the anti-communists who liberated Czechslovakia under the banner of the Charter 77 movement. A movement spearheaded by Václav Havel who tore down the lunacy and absurdity of the communist dictatorship without lifting an arm; but through dissent expressed through satire, poetry, irony and humor.

This peaceful dissident campaign can be typified by the W. H. Auden poem, 'The Ogre' which captures both the horror as well as the inherent weakness of that system:

'The ogre does what ogres can, 
Deeds quite impossible for any man,  
But one prize is beyond his reach:  
The ogre can never master speech.

About a subjugated plain, 
Among the suffering and the slain, 
The ogre stalks with hands on hips, 
While drivel gushes from his lips.'

We need the same publicly minded and spirited citizens that coalesced under the Charter 77 movement. The same brave and responsible citizens of Czechoslovakia that showed the naked and corrupt power structure.

We too in Northern Ireland need freedom from the ever present tyranny of loyalist and republican ogres who impose a way of life that is totally unacceptable to functional 21st Century life.

To conclude. What we saw of Northern Ireland on televisions across the world was the doings of the backward forces of pre-history. These people do not represent majority Northern Ireland. These people represent the worst in society. Yet they do it time after time after time after time. The same stupid, narrow, shortsighted minority fighting their stupid but vicious, venal and venomous turf war.

It will never end if we let them behave like this. So we must stand-up, put-out and battle for tolerance, just as other subjugated, non-free young people are doing the world over.

[This was written by Brian John Spencer and originally published on The Huffington Post UK]
LAD are well-used to reading ridiculous stuff on Facebook sites, and in letters loyalists and UKIP councillors send to our MI5 office in Holywood.  Strangely enough, the republicans haven't realised we're there.  They tend to cover a wide range of  subjects, including hate, paranoia, sectarianism and flegs.  Recent comments from popular local childrens entertainer, William Humphrey Dumbty, MLA, have us stumped though.  You can see the article in question here.

William Humphrey Dumbty is angry

Mr Dumbty, who has his finger in the pulse of loyalist anger, has been reading up on Tha Arts and although he can't remember the last film or play he saw (probably the Nativity play he was in at primary school) he is quite the expert on Tha Arts because he visited a theatre with the Starmount Culture, Toys and Games Committee to make sure that that Carrul McCoolin wumman isn't spending money on Taigy things.  He might have one of them 'Loyalist Filter' gadget things too but that's just specliation.

Humphrey Dumbty reckons that local theatres don't do enough for the wurkin class loyal Pradisan because they keep putting on lots of high brow stuff with no marching and that.  It must stop!  Theatres has a obligashin to teach wurking class loyal Pradisans about the "concept of Tha Arts".  Theatres is failing the people of Ballygomartin, Ballymurphy and Ballymacarrett.

LAD thinks William Humphrey Dumbty should go to a play and tell us what it is like and if there are pictures and bands and a march and that, then it might be good for LAD.   We don't see why posh Taigs and some Pradisan Lundys who have turned they're backs on the wurking class Pradisans, to go and live on the Malone Road, should get all the money for things they like.  Wurkin class loyal Pradisans don't get any money for The Arts. So it's not fair so it is.


Well first aff - before I get til the point I want to make about these Italian nancy boys coming over hear I want to make a wee point about the on line sensor ship that’s going on here in Ulster.  I seen youse boys at LADs been getting a fair bit off stick of Facebook this last couple of days and youse know better than anyone I’ve been there, wore the T shirt and went down to dirty Dublin and sure what did youse boys give me but dog abuse.  Serves them rite I says, thatll harden them after all the propaganda youse have put out against the protestant loyalist people.

But after having til sit throu Emerdale and Coronation Street with the wife I have decided to give youse one last chance to put yer house in order and stop talking about that atension seeking wee skipe Jamie Bryson or else I will put out a fatwah agin ye and this time, you are off air for good. Youse are lucky I have a sense off humous or their wuld be no second chances. I’ve spoke til my coleages in the Protestant coalission and they have said no more touting unless someone pays them. According to my soul brother Sammy its getting boring sitting up in that caravan with oul Geordie Chittick going on an on about King billy and the charge of the light brigade so it is, a bit like Big Brother with lots of spitting and bad smells. Get back LAD quick he says – givem one last chance to stand by Ulster and the PUL people or weel march down to Dublin and demand our rites off Facebook again so we will QS.

Apart from LAD getting threw off of Facbook there’s one other major thing annoying me and the wife apart from the usual stuff about that horse dealing maffiosis Slab Murphy. Did youse here about this Italian cycle race, the latest sell out the DUP are trying to sell us? Their coming right here til the heart off Ulster right past my own front door in Markethill, emisseries off the Roman Antichrist himself says wee pastor Barrie. Not only that, there going on to Forkhill and up Slab Murphy’s drive to pass on intelligense and fill up with diesel and then all the way to Dublin in time for mass with seven bishops and yer man Gay Burns at the pro-provo cathedral.

Them boys must be on strong drugs for the furthest I’ve been on a bike is Tandragee and that was with the wife on the back just after we started courting. We were going to a rally agin the anglo irish agreemint. Well its seven mile from my front door to Tayto Castle and by the time we got there it was dark and Paisley was away back to his manchion. So I bought the girl a big bag of pickled onion and the rest is history. Nowadays I wear durex, tho its true the flavers aren’t as nice.

Anyways, what I’m asking youse is this – what is it these foreinners want with us anyways. Why are they coming over here chasing pink jumpers on multy million pound bikes. What does the people of Markethill want with two hundred sweaty papists invading our piecefull wee town. And when are they handing out these giros. Or is only Slab and his thugs who’s making anything out of it?  

The worst thing about these Italian tramps apart from them shaving there legs like ladyboys, is they’re riding down to bandit country knee deep in the blood off UDR men moordered by roman catholic terrorist scum that hid like a pack of cards in ditches in the dead off nite. How wuld the Italians like it it if I went over til Las Vegas on a pogo stick and started dancing on Julius Seezers  grave? Or if I pissed in the Levi  fountain. So my message to the sissy boys of this giro Italian thing is this  – either you boys stop at the UDR memorial in Glenanne to obsurve a minute silence and write a big check payable to FAIR or I will dress up as Abu Hamza and chase youse all the way to the border and even beyond on my racer.

See youse in Dundalk amigos.

Fuck the Pope

Wm Frazer 

Today we sent a copy to Facebook's press office and their PR company regarding the unwarranted removal of the L.A.D. Facebook page after mass reporting by so-called Loyalist Facebook users.

The email addresses we sent it to are:

Facebook: press@fb.com
Their PR firm is Blue Rubicon and the contact there is ronan.joyce@bluerubicon.com.

Why don't you do the same?
Simply cut and paste the text and send to the addresses above.

Thank you for your support.

Dear Facebook

I am writing to you regarding the group Loyalists Against Democracy who until recently had a Facebook page at www.facebook.com/loyalistsagainstdemokracy until it was 'unpublished' by Facebook. Subsequently two replacement L.A.D. pages have also been 'unpublished' by Facebook.

Some background:
L.A.D. is a cross-community, non-political group set up to combat the growing tide of sectarianism in Northern Ireland through the use of satire. L.A.D. use a combination of: original material (songs, artwork and videos) and screenshots to hammer home the point that sectarianism is wrong. The screenshots are taken from various public Facebook pages and show other Facebook users making vile hate filled statements that promote sectarianism and in many cases incite violence. Those responsible for these posts have been responsible for an ongoing and often violent campaign of civil disobedience 'protesting' at the democratic decision to fly the union flag on designated days only, as is the case in the rest of the United Kingdom. They have also been openly hostile and violent in their opposition to the decisions of a legally constituted body known as the Parades Commission who legislate on contentious parades in Northern Ireland.

L.A.D. is put together by a small team drawn from across the political and religious spectrum in Northern Ireland and enjoys huge support from both communities. When www.facebook.com/loyalistsagainstdemokracy was closed the page had nearly 9000 followers. The blogpage http://loyalistsagainstdemocracy.blogspot.co.uk has received over a quarter of a million hits since launching in June. The L.A.D. Twitter feed @LADFLEG has 4,606 likers (amongst them many local politicians including the Deputy First Minister and the Leaders of NI21 and the Green Party).

L.A.D. has been removed by Facebook purely as a result of an orchestrated campaign by certain right-wing ultra sectarian so-called loyalist groups in Northern Ireland. Their method is simple.They spread a message via their personal and group pages to report posts on L.A.D. as 'harassment' when this is clearly and demonstrably not the case.In certain cases they complain about various hate filled sectarian posts which they themselves have written. as we understand it when Facebook receives the requisite number of reports the pages are automatically 'unpublished'. Those responsible are effectively spamming Facebook's reporting system - which we understand is contrary to facebook's community standards.

Attached are many example of the campaign at work and also some examples of the hate filled sectarian bile that is allowed on the facebook system while a satirical page aimed at promoting peace and reconciliation is punished.

Recently L.A.D. teamed up with the Northern Ireland Children to Lapland Trust, a local cross-community charity raising funds for terminally ill, long term ill and deserving children  http://www.niclt.org/ . They have recorded a song and are in the process of shooting a video intended for the Christmas market.  L.A.D had hoped to use Facebook to market the song with all funds raised going to the charity. Sadly this marketing option is now closed to L.A.D.

I would like to know what Facebook intends to do about this and would respectfully request that www.facebook.com/loyalistsagainstdemokracy is reinstated immediately.

The offending screenshots detailing mass reporting can be found here:


Please reply as a matter of urgency,

kind regards,



In response to the rolling unrest in Northern Ireland I made a simple case: That modern Northern Ireland remonstrate and stand against the loyalists and other extremists who have been “chipping away” at our good name. PUP councillor John Kyle responded directly here, elsewhere Winston Ervine criticised me for my “invective” and others have chided me for my “rank snobbishness and arrogance.”
In a reply to this I have the following to say.

I can see how my last article could be read as conceited, supercilious, even arrogant. None were my intention. I can also see the hypocrisy in a well-fed moderate having a go at the unionist working classes. So I welcome the points.
But this is what I didn’t get.

Firstly, I’m astounded that those who have been associated with people who make violence, vandalism and intimidation the rules of the game start crying when I respond with heavy words.
Secondly, my opponents spoke of the hypocrisy of a middle-class person criticizing the working-class who contribute so many men and women to the armed forces. I’m reminded of Rudyard Kipling’s poem, Tommy: ‘Yes, makin’ mock o’ uniforms that guard you while you sleep.’

I get it. But I respect the men and women who defend us while we sleep. But I wasn’t referring to working-class Protestants at large, for whom I have the greatest of sympathy. When I spoke against loyalism, I spoke of the violent, buckfast-in-hand, anarchic brand of loyalism; fully grown men dancing on police land rovers, teenagers attacking the police; the Orange Order striking the police.
This is the important distinction. The loyalists seen by the world aren’t men of the armed forces who defend us; these are men who attack the men and women who defend us day and night. It's a VERY VERY odd form of loyalism that attacks the Queen's forces. So I will not have it said that I took an impassioned swipe at disadvantaged unionists. I took a swipe at loyalists who engaged in a pre-meditated campaign of violence overseen by the Orange Order and various illegal organisations, and defended by unionist politicians.

Thirdly, I was told that “Those of us who are established in our careers and positions of influence owe it to them to create employment opportunities, affirm their worth and provide role models and friendship.”
On creating jobs and role models – the flag and parades unrest and rolling uncertainty does nothing but destroy jobs and investment. And associated with this, as Newton Emerson said, “paramilitarism is the cause of social disadvantage.” These gangsters are the role models and they have a chokehold on the young people. The men in control don’t want outside role models. They covet the status quo. They don’t want their people to change.

As Christopher Hitchens said:

‘The power of this parasitic class was what protracted the fighting in Northern Ireland for years and years after it had become obvious to all that nobody (except the racketeers) could “win”. When it was over, far too many of the racketeers become profiteers of the “peace process” as well.”’
On affirming and working with them - how could anyone help them? I don’t know any well-off unionist, never mind nationalist, who could just walk into one of these areas and try and in any way mingle. It's not rude to say this. It's the reality.

Think of these bonfires, supposed towers of culture. If you’re not in that community and you wanted to take part and enjoy the culture before the 11th night, you’d get chinned. You’d have to speak to one of these self-appointed gatekeepers to get anywhere near the people.
I remember trying to speak with a mural artist. His response? A stone, Aztec face, empty eyes and a grunt that said ‘“f” away off’. These are closed people that resent the middle classes. The only way to unlock them is through the gatekeepers and paramilitaries. And so the circle goes on. (I should make it clear that I’ve also met and know some of the nicest, most genuine people I have ever come across who are from the loyalist community.)

Secondly, many in the loyalist community are already helped to no end. They’re an indulged class who’ve been handed tranche after tranche of money, habitually siphoned off and squandered by “gatekeepers”. It’s the same with the Orange Order. As Brian Feeney said, the Orange Order is showered with public money, yet they incite unrest and cost the public purse thousands.

Their indulgence is typified by the learnt helplessness and sense of victimhood – that it’s everyone else’s fault. Like Alex Kane said to the Orange Order, stop blaming everyone else and take some responsibility. We need to end this tremendous steam-bath of self-pity. It’s not about what Northern Ireland can do for you but what you can do for Northern Ireland.
Thirdly, I was criticized for my invective and heavy use of language. John Hewitt wrote, “Speak peace and toleration/ Moderate your tone of voice, and everywhere avoid what might provoke/ Good will must be deployed in efforts to restore our balanced state.”

This was written fictitiously. A jab at the cult of respectability adopted by the coasting middle-classes who decided it best to just shut-up and put-up with the Troubles. Well no, I won’t moderate my voice and I don’t think anyone else should do so for that matter. Softly, softly doesn’t work. I will speak truth to barbarism. I will not be a silent spectator of unfairness and mindlessness. So my use of words was quite right. You cannot pander or indulge such incivility.
As William Butler Yeats wrote, ‘Irish poets learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort growing up all out of shape from toe to top.’ I feel it only proper to scorn those who have gone unscorned, unchecked and unaccounted for, for far too long. As John Hewitt said, they’ve been ‘long nurtured, never checked, in ways of hate.’

The time has come to say, as Fintan O’Toole said to the people of Ireland: ‘Enough is Enough’, enough of the pandering and indulgence; and enough of the standing idly by, enough of the fatalism, enough of the cynical inaction, enough of the shutting-up and putting-up. As Fintan wrote:
“There is a fatalistic sense that nothing can change. The country needs to encourage participation in, and oversight and knowledge of politics, to make people feel that they have a right to challenge the old party machines and to make a difference. It is their country, after all.”

Yes, Northern Ireland is our country too. We have a culture too. We need to lose the fatalism, contest the lunacy and battle for tolerance. We cannot be held hostage and prisoner to events by a rogue community. Too long we’ve moderated our voice, spoken peace and toleration and everywhere did what would not provoke. Well, enough is enough.
And to those who say I have nothing positive to say or to contribute, here are some points for loyalism, unionism and the leadership to consider.

Firstly, it’s quite clear that the unrest is the expression of insecurity and uncertainty, and a deep fear that their culture is being “chipped away”. These are totally understandable concerns, but rioting is not the answer. How so? It’s suicide on a number of levels:
One, it’s an own goal against moderate unionism. As Alex Kane said:

"A final thought for now: has moderate unionism simply been replaced with opt -out-couldn’t-care-less-about-the-whole-thing-anymore unionism?"

Two, it’s an own goal against catholic unionists, who Gerry Moriarty spoke of in the Irish Times here.

Three, it’s an own goal against mainland Britain who will continue to tire of the living on of the religious wars of the 17th Century. Theresa Villiers rightly said:

“It’s hard to think of anything more unBritish than wrapping yourself in a union flag and attacking the police who are there to uphold the law."

Four, it's an own goal against tourism and the NI economy. As Theresa Villiers said:

“It’s hard to see how Northern Ireland can reach its full economic potential while sectarian division continues to spill out on the streets with disgraceful scenes of rioting and violence.”

Five, the rioting and unrest play into the hands of Sinn Fein. Let it be said very plainly: the rioting, the fear, the insecurity, the paranoia, the unrest and the uncertainty are exactly what Sinn Fein want. The shouting and roaring is exactly what Sinn Fein want loyalism to do. Alex Kane recently quoted a Sinn Fein member who commented on the unrest. He said:

“We can always rely on unionist disarray or paranoia to help us out.”
We should also remember what Mitchell McLaughlin said in 2006 when asked to explain exactly what Sinn Féin had achieved for its supporters:

“The degree of uncertainty and the lack of confidence in the unionist community!”’
Secondly, as Alex Kane suggested, loyalists need to play Sinn Fein at their own game - slow-boil, strategic politics. PUL needs to think long term, educate the people, switch them on electorally, rid the communities of paramilitaries and enlighten loyalism and most importantly, explain to them that the changes aren’t the end of unionism. They ought to employ smarts and take confidence and advantage of the changing demographics and of identities (Life and Times Survey etc.). As Newton Emerson said:

“It falls to unionist leaders to explain that the world has changed but not ended.”
Thirdly, the electoral issue is very important. Alex Kane said that ‘the unionist/loyalist working classes represent a significant demographic—with probably enough votes to add a few seats to the unionist tally on Belfast City Council and maybe even an extra 1 or 2 MLAs.’
To carry on along the track of the status quo would be a suicide and a triumph for idiocy and blinkered radicalism.
Fourthly, let’s look to Rosa Luxemburg, a writer who possessed an internationalism so strong that she despised anything to do with lesser or sectarian “identities.” This internationalism led her to oppose the infantile and explosive nationalist claims of her fellow Poles and Jews. She said:

“I feel at home in the entire world, wherever there are clouds and birds and human tears.”
The Rosa Luxemburg way is the way of modern, normal Northern Ireland. Modern, youthful Northern Ireland can be Irish, Northern Irish and are happy to be with Britain for ever or for now. This mentality and tolerant thinking must be shared. This broadmindedness and internationalism are the way forward.
To conclude: Up until now normal, modern Northern Ireland has had no critical faculty. While the agents of intransigence and vandalism have had no faculty for self-criticism. This must change. The young and ambitious must learn to contest and question the endless rolling violence and mutual hatred. They must stand and express a sane voice of opposition that can be heard above the hubbub of tragedy, futility and riotous passions.
And if that means raising your voice and employing heavy language, let it be. It’s not rude, arrogant or snobbish. Let's end the cult and soft bigotry towards aspiration, moderation and being middle-class. It sickens me that being middle-class is a pjejorative term in Northern Ireland.
The old politicians are locked in the 70s and 80s. Their minds are locked in a world of green and orange. YOU need to change that. YOU young people need to stand up and make YOUR voice heard.

[Written by Brian John Spencer and originally published on Eamonnmallie.com]

For the uninitiated our Facebook page has been removed by Facebook for the sixth time.

We and our 8,000 + likers are not amused.

A brief timeline:

December 2012

 - Loyalists Against Democracy 1 (LAD1) - launched in December as response to the fleg protests and 'loyalists' wrecking the place and ruining everyone's Christmas.

June 2013

 - We unpublished LAD 1 to concentrate on Flipside, our other satirical page, and go beyond the fleg with every intention of republishing LAD1 in July. We had an inkling that July would be eventful.

July 2013

 - LAD 1 republished on Facebook and unpublished by Facebook within days. Facebook's reason: 'sexual content' - there has never been any 'sexual content' on LAD unless you count some of the arseholes we take the piss out off. At this point LAD1 had nearly 6,000 'likes'

- LAD 2 immediately launched and gains  3,000 likes in just over a week
- LAD 2 unpublished by Facebook. No reason given, prompting a campaign by the Irish News
- LAD 3 launched and quickly unpublished by Facebook. No reason given. No warnings issued.
- LAD 3 reinstated by Facebook and removed again less than 24 hours later
- LAD 4 launched

October 2013

- LAD 4 unpublished by Facebook on 6th October after a mass reporting campaign by 'loyalists' who disapproved of their sectarian hate filled shite being shown to the wider community.

These idiots use any means necessary to register a complaint such as 'harassment'.

When Facebook's robots receive sufficient reports the page is closed. Cue 'loyalist' gloating.

- LAD 5 launched on 6th October and achieves 2,000 likes in less than 3 hours

- LAD 5 removed by Facebook on 7th October having achieved 3,000 likes in less than 12 hours

- Reluctantly LAD 6 published - it lasts less than 3 hours before being removed.No warnings issued. No content removed.

Loyalists Against Democracy is a non-political, non-sectarian group.

We exist to satirise the extremist dickheads within society who are intent on dragging Northern Ireland back to the bad old days.

We are not fucking republicans despite what is said by some arseholes who don't get the joke. By it's very nature LAD  focuses on loyalist stupidity purely because they have been the ones wrecking the place for the past 10 months. Dissident republicans are equally dumb but not quite as funny.

The six people who put LAD together are from across the political/religious spectrum and we do this for no financial reward. We're just sick of dickheads wrecking the place, embarrassing us and making headlines for all the wrong reasons.

LAD shall continue as a blog, on Twitter  and You Tube.

We are now back on Facebook at www.facebook.com/LADBELFAST

How long we will last is anyone's guess.