Theres people say to me Willie, shure why do ye bother, the British govenment is gonna sell us out anyways. And I wud tell them well, your not wrong there but theres no call till be a lundy either. I do what I do for the victims plane and simple . The Innocent victims of republican violence. We deserve too get that money of Libya for all the misery Gandalfi caused till us when he give the Provies the semtex. And this week has been no different. I was running round everywere on behaff of innocent victims right across the UK.

First aff I was up in the back end of nowere in Donegal, a real vipers nest where there is very few protestants left – were once their was near on fifty thousand. Even today it is a dangerous place for protestants and shure enough it wasn’t long till the Shinners were trying to put me intill the ditch – it was a good job I took the Saracen for I wudn’t be talking too youse now. As youse know by now your man Downey who blew up the horses in Hyde bank used the get out off jail letter Peter Robsinson give him to get out off jail in England and still the Provies are actuelly brazen enough to advertise a hooley to callebrate all this butchery. It is yet more proof that a leppard can never change it’s stripes if youse ask me.

Anyways this murdouring scumbag thinks he can come and go to Ulster as and when he pleases, well not any more, for I went up to deliver the news that them days is over. Youse want to see the size off this boys manshion and near as many stables as Royal ascot too, I cud hardly beleave it. Were did this runaway rebel get the money youse mite well ask and what odds it was by honest means ? 

"I'm eatin' your ma" - Willie and horse
Well there was a big mob of Provies having a barbiecue on this boys front laun, laughing and glouting over Sefton and Shergar and all the other murdours and ethic cleansing. The smell off burgers about that place was just not rite, you cud smell it for miles aff, it fair turned my stommock I can tell youse. Anyways your man forgot til invite me to his wee party so I drove the Saracen through the fence and right intill the middle of these rats and shure enough they dropped there burgers and scattered like the true cowerds they are.

I found your man Downey out by the stables trying to load the horses on till a big truck with a county Louth reg – shure I seen that truck manys a time down round Cross with Slab Murphy himself at the wheel. Well your man fair took aff when he seen me – he thought his day his had come, the murdouring tramp, and if I had been back home on Ulster soil with no witnesses I probally wud have took him out. But there was a clatter of horses looking at me and I was for taking no chances. I just toul them poor boys to stay cool and not to be winnying too much for I wud be seeing them down in South Armagh in a couple of days, for I knew exactly where thon truck was headed and what durtbag wud be driving her. I swore to them poor creaters there and then there wud be no more innocent victims and I wud be down at Slabs place to meet them with the cavalry come hell or high water. And shure enough youse must have heard on the news, the PSNI is finally after getting aff there backsides and closing down these slatterhouses that has been poisoning this food chain with horsemate this last lock off years. Now I cud off told the media about my role in getting the intelligents for these raids but between you and me I don’t like be going round telling people I talk to horses, I’d be afeared of Slab Murphy getting wind off it and stepping up the slautter. So its all I can do to take the credit for the Shinners calling off the sick shindig for this butcher up in Donegal.

No surrender ever

Wm Frazer
The citizens of Carrickfergus really will be spoilt for choice come this May's council electons.

First there was the tale of the Unprogressive Unionist Party (uPUP) candidate Gareth Cole and his nocturnal fleg erecting activities and a dark history of posting inappropriate material on Facebook - including a suggestion that "it high time we blow UTV and newsline up the fenion (sic) loving bastards" Click here for the full story.

It seems the PUP are delighted that such a person should represent them and indeed one prominent council candidate, the fragrant and lovely Izzy Giles tweeted:

So far neither Mr. Cole nor the party have explained or apologised for any of Mr. Cole's posts.

We can only imagine what a proper political party would do were one of their election hopefuls to express a desire to blow up a TV newsroom or set fire to the former Lord Mayor of Belfast.

Not to be outdone the Undemocratic Unionist Party (uDUP) have now selected the charming Bobby Harrison-Rice as a council election candidate in Carrickfergus.

Some of you may recall that Mr. Harrison-Rice was forced to stand down as Vice Chairman of the Carrickfergus Policing and Community Safety Partnership when some of his rather unsavoury views were reported in the local press.

If you missed the posts here are Mr. Harrison-Rice's views on:






Lovely stuff.

The Belfast Telegraph yesterday reported that a uDUP source had confirmed Mr. Harrison-Rice will stand as a party candidate in the forthcoming council elections.

Interestingly the selection was not made by local members of the uDUP but was (we are told) a central office decision.

Asked about the the decision to stand Harrison-Rice the uDUP stated "We are presently going through the process of selection and when that's completed an announcement will be made in due course."

We can't wait.

Good luck Bobby.