Dancing to Peter Robinson's tune
 The failure of the Haassssss talks and mainstream unionist parties over the Christmas period is proove that democracy doesn't work in the hands of the LundyUP and their puppet sex slaves in the UUP.  It is obvious that they are pretending to hold out against capitlat copulat capitali giving in to publican Shin Fane IRAs demands to give them all our Britishness to paint green and turn us all into leprecons.

LAD cannot be fooled though and we set out to proove the LundyUP is only pretending to act like hardline nutjobs and already, our Britishness is been sold down the river.
General Willie Frazer of the First Infantry Balloons
We sent our master tactician, General Willie 'Tazer' Frazer, to the Stormount Hotel, where he managed to show the level of LundyUP incompetence by fooling Lundy Jeffrey Donaldson into passing on all the secrets of the talks.  On completing his mission, General Frazer was de-briefed in the secret LAD bunker at MI5.  Our code breakers have managed to decipher everything he was gibbering about.  It makes for disgraceful reading.

Flegs
  • Lamp posts are to be removed from all areas displaying higher than acceptable levels of loyalism, acceptable to be decided by publican Shin Fane IRA.
  • New designated days planned by publican Shin Fane IRA mean are fleg will only be flow on 1 day a year only on the flegpole in Holywood
  • A new Nornarn fleg will be designed by publican Shin Fane IRA (we all know what that means)
  • Kerbstones will be removed from all areas of Northern British Ireland
Parades
  • The parades commission will be replaced by a new body called publican Shin Fane IRA.
  • British loyalist parades can only take place on payment of a €50 million bond (non refundable)
  • Bed push parades will be made illegal, carrying a custodial sentence for participants of not less than 5 years
  • The most glorious 12th of July may only be celebrated in East Belfast
  • Culchie lodges are not permitted to mix with Belfast lodges
  • Bandsmen who provide a positive alcohol breath test will not be permitted to join a parade
The Past
  • A new body will replace the HET and investigate only crimes that involved British security forces or loyal defenders of Ulster.
  • The Past will be dealt with by a Dealing With The Past department allowing society to progress
  • Any MLA who has been in office for more than 5 years will be consigned to the past to allow society to progress
  • The TUV will be consigned to the past where it belongs

LAD have awarded General Frazer a special medal in recognition of the bravery and cunning he displayed in getting Lundy Jeffrey Donaldson to spill the beans.  Our High Command are now constructing a cunning plan in order to prevent any of these disgraceful proposals chipping any more British off our Britishnessness.  As our British hero, Judge Jim (I am the law) Allister says: any more chipping and there will be no more chips left.  Without chips, there can be no chip shaps.  This cannot be allowed!
Wee Willie on manouvres


No surrender, the Queen and Ulster.